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by the Athens Solidarity Center of SolidarityNow<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n “I am old enough to have perhaps already reconciled with some truths and facts of life. But the reality for me is different. My inner battle became unbearable, and I decided that I could no longer be a stranger to my people. A friend of mine suggested that I should visit the Solidarity Center of SolidarityNow in Athens. I thought it was only for people from abroad. But it is for everyone, and the truth is I felt that from the first moment I met my later psychologist.” <\/em><\/p>\n At 45, Giannis introduces himself as “quite old”, “gay”, “a good son”, and “a distressed worker”.<\/strong> But we are never \u201cold or young enough\u201d, or anything else to ask for help from the right people.<\/p>\n And Giannis got the appropriate support which brought immediate results.<\/p>\n \u201cI came out to my brother. I told him I\u2019m gay. And when I went back home, I felt lighter. It was a strange feeling because I didn’t know how to manage it, it was as if I felt bad about feeling good, I don’t know how to explain it. Of course, this was quickly replaced by the feeling of standing on my own feet more firmly.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n I grew up in Athens. A nice child of a good family; nothing was missing from our home. We were not rich, but we were rich because we never lack love. I had a very loving relationship with both my father and mother. None of them are here anymore. <\/em><\/p>\n Also, I always had a good relationship with my half-siblings, my brother and sister, since our mother always took care of that. And generally, my mother always took care of everything.<\/em><\/p>\n As I grew up, I was never denied anything. I was never deprived either, but it took me a long time to realize that many things in my nurture, painless, invisible, literally and metaphorically, defined me in terms of my beliefs, opinions, and attitude. It was time for me to figure it all out one by one as the years went by, after realizing and admitting that I am gay.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n I\u2019m a nice person; my friends call me ‘the life and soul of the party\u2019. But sometimes they tell me that so much energy and joy might hide something opposite; melancholy. Eventually, I think they are right, and I now know that a big part of it is directly related to my need for acceptance. Because even though some of my people know exactly who I am, I have spent most of the years hiding it from everyone else, even (or even especially!) from my family environment.<\/em><\/p>\n I thought it wasn’t necessary. I resigned myself to the attitude of my partners who were hiding too much. And sometimes I got stuck with a shame that I didn’t have on my own, but rather deep inside I accepted it as normal.<\/em><\/p>\n I never got to tell my mother I was gay. Instead, I managed to burden myself with guilt that by not living the way she would have wanted, I might have contributed to her illness and ultimately her death.<\/em><\/p>\n It was all weighing on me. And above all, one more guilt and shame weighed more heavily \u2013 the one that told me that you now live more freely, after your mother’s death. I couldn\u2019t accept it. As if I were denying my adoration for her. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Now things are getting clearer.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n My life has moved on. I live in the same house as my partner, I speak more comfortably about who I am, and I am also escorted to all social events. And I like it.<\/em><\/p>\n I see my psychologist often and sometimes I am happy as a child who goes to tell her about his accomplishments. Today I spoke to my brother! I get bravo, I get acceptance”, <\/em>concludes Giannis with a smile.<\/em><\/p>\n He also faces his financial hardship in a different way. <\/em>He feels more optimistic, more powerful about how to deal with what is coming: \u201cI’ve been working non-stop since I was 19. I’ll always find jobs, I know, because I never expected things to come without effort.<\/em><\/p>\n And finally, I find that when I started being honest to and for myself, expressing my needs and desires with certainty, I asked, and I got. I asked for acceptance and love, and I got it. No one rejected me because I\u2019m gay.<\/em><\/p>\n Maybe I rejected myself for so long \u2013 and that was visible. Now I am visible, it is me as this multidimensional person that I am, because nobody is just gay, just one or the other (he laughs). We are 150,000 different things that make people love us.<\/em><\/p>\n “You know,” <\/em>he says, “I would like you to write this… that maybe we need to widen our embrace to include everyone and especially all those who feel different and for some reason feel bad about it.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n * Since August 2022, the Athens Solidarity Center is financed by EEA Grants<\/a>, with \u03a3\u039f\u039b Crowe<\/a> and HumanRights360<\/a> as the fund operator.<\/em><\/p>\n