“My world would be a better place if I had an identity”
John comes from Syria and has Kurdish origins. When he introduced himself to us, he chose the name John, instead of his real name because he is still scared, causing him to still hide. Even though he is now in Athens, living so far away from his country, he is still scared to recount his story under his true identity.
This fear overtakes John since, in his life, he has experienced rejection, intimidation and threats from others because of who he is. People have judged him after getting suspicious about his sexual orientation.
John discovered who he was and understood how he felt at the age of 15.
He is gay.
From the moment he decided to be truthful with himself, he knew that his family would not accept his true identity. So, John, one of eight kids, decided to leave from his country in 2011 and go to Iraq. He lived there since 2016. The war, as well as the lack of privacy, inside his own home as well as socially, were the main reasons for him to leave again and go somewhere far. Before he left from home, he studied computers for a year at the University.
While he was studying and living alone, he learned how to cook and become almost professional. “I love cooking. I learned how to cook well with the help of my mother, who gave me instructions over the phone. And I absolutely adore my mother.” While in Iraq he worked as a chef at a four-star hotel and was able to afford his life.
He left Iraq for the same reasons he left his home country. He traveled to Turkey and from there to Chios, then Athens, Thessaloniki and finally Idomeni. He waited there, for the moment he could leave, for four months in a state of terror; “the others would have killed me if they found out I was gay”. His goal was to manage to go towards Holland or Switzerland, that’s what he wanted from the very beginning. Those were two countries in which he imagined he could live freely. His dream died however when the borders closed. John explained that he had to face himself and became isolated and began battling depression.
He returned to Greece and learned about SolidarityNow. He joined the program Safe Refugee, which focuses on LGBT refugees.
He began living in a normal house where he wasn’t scared. He managed to offer help to one of his old friends Pinar, who searched for him in Greece when he too managed to overcome the same dangers and fears.
Today they are roommates and they share their everyday life in the city of Athens. John really likes Athens because the climate reminds him of Syria. Having, in some extend, overcome his severe sadness about the fact that he might not be able to go to another country in Europe, he thinks that Athens will prove to be a very important stop for him and for his future. John is doing everything he possibly can in order to enrich his knowledge while living in Athens.
He follows both Greek and English lessons, which are offered to the members of the program. He successfully takes part in many activities and events in relation with cooking. But, according to him, the most important thing is the scholarship he won through the program “From Camp to Campus”, and today he is graduating from the American College Deree; “My most memorable experience to this day is my time in Deree”.
Sadly, he still remembers some of the gloomier experiences he lived through when he received a negative answer about receiving asylum in Greece. Today however that is just a sad memory, since his application for asylum will probably be positive.
John is a very sweet, shy but active 26-year-old man. He believes that if he tries he will manage to make a better life for himself – a life in which he will overcome all boundaries. He is willing to travel wherever its best for him. In the meanwhile, he is soaking in as much information and knowledge as possible because he wants “to work as an interpreter, and in that manner, help other refugees”.
When our meeting came to an end, John stood up and was ready to go, but before he left, he said; “you know what? My world would be better if I had an identity with my name and not an identity that simply stated refugee.”
*John lives in one of the SolidarityNow accommodation structures in Athens under the Safe Refugee program implemented by the organization and is part of the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees ESTIA Support Program for Integration and Housing and funded by the European Union Humanitarian Aid and Civil Protection (ECHO).
**Through the Safe Refugee Program, SolidarityNow provides accommodation to refugees, in independent apartments in Athens and Thessaloniki. The program’s beneficiaries receive free psychosocial support, legal counseling, they participate in educational and recreational activities, and are members of a wider support network that aims to improve their living conditions and support them during their stay in Greece.