Giorgos Moutafis for SolidarityNow

Ahmed Essa, 30 years-old, 2 months in Lesvos

“I love her and she is waiting for me to go and find her”

“My name is Ahmed and I am 30 years-old. I am a civil engineer. I learnt English in Syria. I have been in Eleonas for the last 2 months. I came to Greece through Turkey. I gave 500 dollars to a smuggler and I crossed the sea by a boat.

I have seen everything in my life. I have lost two brothers. I don’t know if they’re dead, but I saw their names in a list of ISIS victims on the internet. Two years ago my brother’s children were asking where was their father. ISIS has arrested many of my relatives. I was terrified. They have also threatened me, they took all my legal papers. I was forced to leave my home and seek refuge in the mountains. For about 100 days I was sleeping under the trees. It is very hard to know that you are not able to go to your home. All these have affected me. I cannot sleep or eat, I remember everything over and over again.

Life in Moria is very hard. We have nothing here. We don’t have electricity, hot water and the food is bad. Every day something bad is happening. I live in a summer tent with seven people whom I met here. I can’t sleep at night because of the cold. We asked for a heater, but we didn’t get any answer. I bought the clothes I am wearing when I was in Turkey.

We do the same things every day. The same routine. We wake up at 7.30 and have our breakfast. Then, we sleep again. At the noon, we stand in line to get our food and we go to the internet café, where we can use the internet and talk to our families. We have our dinner at 5.00 and then we go back to our tents. We feel sad. We remember our families, our university, our homes, but we can’t go back. We lost everything, but we hope for a better future.

My parents and siblings are in Syria. We talk every day. I hope to go back to my country when the war is over. We didn’t want to make this trip, but we had no choice.

I hope to go to Holland or to Germany. My girlfriend, Asma, is in Germany. I love her, and she loves me and she is waiting for me to go to her. I met her in Damascus two years ago. She went to Turkey, but I didn’t have the money to leave then, because ISIS had arrested my brothers. When I finally managed to leave, the borders were closed. I love her so much. She is a very beautiful girl. I cannot describe my feelings for her. When I talk to her, I am happy. She is the only thing that makes me happy in Moria”.